Thursday, May 22, 2008 // 10:12 PM
Hi bloggie
as i am writing i am crying . my o levels are really bad.I have no idea how to do my chinese. I feel like an asshole on chinese i can't save myself. i am falling deeper into a trap and then i will fail. my confidence is smashed and shattered.My life is a puzzle now.I am just in a lost for words. I dun want anyone to ostracizes me. I am who i am .I can't do this. i am cracking under the pressure that i am have to endure.I am breaking down.
Anyway the only thing i am happy with is that there is tapestry 2008. i became friends with the tapestry group on facebook and they send me a invite to go for tapestry.Finally i can sing once more.I told my parents, they yelled at me again they say must blance my tapestry and O levels Blah Blah Blah... i just felt so hurt.They dun understand me. I love music. That my main Goal in life. Why i am ambition less is because i wanna be a musician but how many musicians make it big, not many, That why i smashed my one and only dream myself. I told myself to stop dreaming , to focus on some decent job.Which i have no passion for , i just do it for the sake of money. But it is not the passion that i love.
Singing makes me feel like myself. it makes me who i am.I express myself through this songs.I Singing cause that where i feel at ease.I automatically put on a smile when i sing. it is natural. it just comes.When i sing that when people see me for who i am. And not what usually mask me from behind.If i could relive my passion and revive it then i am truly contended, but i will never be the best. Anyway THE BAND will we still be united as one (even though one or two have left) or will we just be history and a memory of my past.
I pray for a band who loves music as much as i do.Who is willing to singing and play for the glory of god, and no matter what happens we will not be history and a memory of my past.We will stick together as one and will not fall apart.Amen
TOodles
Rachel
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