hi bloggie

you noe when i was younger.My teacher would ask me wat is my favourite fairytale. my answer then was beauty and the beast , Cinderella and sleeping beauty.but now i no longer believe in fairytale

i was watching enchanted . and i realize that life is not as beautiful as a fairytale la. life is not that perfect . so i should not count on it all the time la. life has not many perfect ending in the society that i live in. so i just think that true love may not exist. but that childish thinking of my may change la.this really reminded me of a song call Cinderella by tata young( i think). i guess i really fit that song

i cried yesterday.for the same old reason i have been crying the past few months. does he noe? i doubt it though. anyway there is nothing much that can be done. cause wat is done cannot be easily erase la. i dun want someone to fill that hole. cause i must fill it myself la. no one else can do that la.

break me and shape me ,mold me to who you want me to be

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

tomorrow is like my gu zheng exams and i am having you noe wat? exams jitters! gosh i hate those exams jitters. but no choice la.i hope i will pass la. pls pray for me people pls.

anyway i really needa get over the emotional stuff in life it really needa get rid of it i really hate it la. i need to be left t0 stand on my own feet for now

that all for today

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

yesterday was awesome. we went fullertons to celebrate lionel belated birthday

yes just finish the chocolate buffet . it was a good experience haha. learn loads of stuff.
then late when of go out.spent the night .it was awesome and fun. so i love it haha.

anyway recently have been back to emoing. my problems drain too much of my energy. they make me weak and weary. i have no more tears to shed. no more blood to bleed. if you give me a ticket to a far away place to forget all we shared. i will take it. these 2 years will be my time to heal. i will still watch you but from some distance. stop hurting me with all fun. cause when my heart wants to settle down i will be serious bout it. i wanna rest for this time. my feeling still i will never forget. i will come back stronger 2 years later waiting.

that all for today. trying to stay positive .someone once taught me that on a climb.thanks

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

today just came back from camp. the councilors camp was quite fun. i only went on the second day of the camp. so i miss out many things on the first day. on the second day, i actually did the rope elements only.but there were like only 40 mins per elements. so not everyone did the elements .my group was call ARIBA. the element i did was the rock wall. sanjay(duck) , vicknesah(I think is spell like that) & me did the rope climbing together. we manage to cross the red line so we got our points.i manage to climb the rock wall without breaking a nail. see how good i am. we also did the spider web. i did not expect my group to be able to carry me over . and they did not really complain much so i wanna thank the team.

today the whole group did the high wall, this time it was the whole student councilor body together so there were a few that when up first. i was in the begining. i was like telling everyone that i was really heavy but eventually they carried me up and did not complain. so i am very thankful to everyone. i learn a lot bout faith and trust in your team mates. no matter how afraid you are cause your team mates are always there.later on we gave each other gems so as to recongnise each others qualitys . i gave clarence AKA my dad( he claims that he is my father) one gem fr being my dad. i oso gave my instructors gem too and some other people like the main leaders of ARIBA and my bunk mates and my good friends.so later went back to school debrief and celebrate Heidi birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEIDI!!!!

anyway monday had the MRL department outing. it was fun la but i dun really have the pics. i end up entertaining everyone by singing. just singing lor. laugh and giggle all the way through la. then at night got BBQ. EZB totally forgot bout my order so the food came late. in the end there was too much food so everyone in the end took some food home. overall it was fun and exciting.

my gems

the first letter of my name

that all for today

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

well i went for my dinner after days of working lao ban john treat us to sakura .it was awesome! i came late so when i reach, it was olivia 4th round i think . i was like staring at her and asking her how come she eat so much.eventually she and yi jun ate and ate and ate and they totally forgot about the cake for lao ban niang .opps! haha anyway later on we celebrated lao ban niang birthday .di xin walk in with her present and the cake was sent in . all of us were like cheering so loudly that everyone was look at us. but it was all for the fun of it eventually everyone said something good bout lao ban niang . me too! and we laugh and joke around.we all gave lao ban niang a hug even boss to and he said very touching and romantic stuff in front of everyone. boss is really brave .later on everyone collect their pay and left.overall we had fun la .i try to work for them again=D

after dinner i went to meet him.no longer together but in a friend term of meeting, he was waiting for mr ong so i waited too actually they oso waiting for their other friends.but eventually everyone was too tired to move so eventually they did not go out. i made mr ong sent me home haha so bad rite ya. but we walk to his car which was bout 20 mins . so long half way through the walk he left. so me and mr ong walk to his car. while we are walking to his car we started talking bout my past and the reasons. somehow life is just not wat it seems but no matter wat i will still wait. haha

now watching why why love. it is a super touching show somehow i like the actors from the show.it is a really nice show so you people should watch . i have like a a huge crush on mike he . i like his devious smile that really captures me haha.all fantasy Rachel, just dun dream too much.

that all for today yuppies

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

somehow this pass 2 days have been really horrible
somehow yesterday i had that dream about us together again
it somehow really brings warmth to my soul
it just brings back memories somehow

my second dreams was a school concert
somehow it was scarry
it was like i was waiting for my turn to perform
suddenly the school stage just seems so big that it has 2 stories
then just as a i was about to sing
i did not bring the CD
hoping that someone or the DJ had that song
then when i said MY IMMORTAL
they play different music
so i said i would do an acapella( i think that how you spell it)
so when i started singing i got nervous and forgot the words
i was totally not myself
later on i fainted on the spot
i felt someone carried me
but the moment i regain conscious in my dream
i asked" who carried me here"
and when that sentence was over i woke up

freaky dreams happen to me especially DE JAVU
it quite scary actually
anyway i am here to just to share bout my dreams la

Toodles
Rachel

Labels: dreams

-------------

hi bloggie

i am gonna blog a different style

somehow she no is no longer who she seems
outside everything is just a mask
a mask to pretend that she is ok
a mask to protect herself
somehow she is not ok
she still need him
apparently he think that she is alright
somehow he just focus too much bout himself and not people around him
like family and friends
all he wants is fun and fun and more fun
she herself just want a one way ticket outta life
or a car accident for her to lose all her memory
she does not like the pain
somehow he has gotten over the pain
he does not noe what it is like does he
she just feel like locking herself in her house the whole day
she justs wants a bit of concern
abit of the old times from him that all
but none will happen apparently
she still can't stand on both her feet
she feels like she is falling
but there is no longer anyone to catch her
her world seems black and white now
all she can say is that there is no light in her world of darkness
but still she hopes the love that she holds that will endure storm
will one day come to a good end

hmmm think of how i manage to post the way you want to cause i can no longer express my self like i use to
take care people
anyway now there is this guy trying to date me on facebook'
how should i deal with him
hmmm *evil grin*
i decide later

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

i shall blog bout my week
and where on earth was i first then bout my topic of the day

ok since wednesday i have been to work
and if you ask me where i work at
yes at tiong bahru



yes this are liu li
some kinda rock but it is really pretty
i like this one


butterfly

anyway made some new friends there

this is me and olivia

di xin is hiding from the camera

haha actually there is another girl call yi jun
she is nice too

this is di xin acting emo haha
anyway will work untill 15 of this month
so come find me ok
and buy from me

anyway recently i still can't handle my emotions
i have lost my parents trust in me
will be open bout it
cause i can no longer lie bout everything
so if i go out with anyone pls make sure i reach home by 11

sometimes i worry
wat would my future be without him
just wondering will i turn for the better or the worse
i still hope for the same thing over again
i just feel that i still cannot stand on my own feet
i need someone there to catch me when i fall
i need my heavenly father's help
somehow i really need do anything bout it my world just keeps falling
then mum started talk bout my past to me
i cried
it just felt like being stabbed a hundred times in the heart
yet it just keep bleeding and it won't stop
if he wanted
he could stay forever
or never come in
but wat is done is done
i cannot erase it
so now i am stuck in the middle
but if he leaves now i will get even more hurt
so if you are reading this pls dun go
thanks but that all i can request now
not much though
i just keep dewelling on wat he say
"yada yada yada..."
they somehow haunts my thought like in the middle of doing something
i just remember them

anyway my topic for the day is judgment
i feel that every where is really judgmental
somehow bah
i just feel that the bible say not to judge
but still human life is bout judging people
maybe you dun say it but you think bout it
somehow it is still judging
i can;t run away from that fact
all i can do is to just accept everyone for who they are
like me
i am not perfect
i have "flabby arms" and look like a camel(both clement's claim)
and i try not to be
and to people who judge me
i hope you guys will not label me for how i dress or how i talk or wat i do or how i live my life
the fact is that there are many rachels you have seen
maybe the bitchy and slutty one
or the nerd
or just that horrible girl that bothers you
or maybe the one that talks the whole day
or maybe just the other one
anyway to people who judge me
you might wanna be nice to me
and i will be nicer to you
so for those who stick to their own opinion
go ahead just dun let me be bothered bout you and your words
cause if they dun help me
i ain't bothering bout wat you say bout me either
as long as you are not helping
my bottom line is judging cannot be avioded
you can only brush them or minimise them
anyway THIS IS JUST MY THINKING SO PLS DUN JUDGE ME BY MY THINKING
AND IF YOU ARE ANGRY WITH WAT I HAVE SAID I FIRST SAY I AM SORRY
BUT THIS IS JUST HOW MY BRAIN WORKS SO THIS IS MY POINT OF VIEW
thanks

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

you noe wat
miss audrey chua look so different with make up la
so is so preetty haha
anyway saturday went for her wedding
with my class
when we reach the bus stop, some walked while so cabbed to the place
overall it was cool
got to noe suie better
then talk to her
she is a really nice person,
giving me tips on how to maintain my nails haha
cool rite

anyway then later when out
somehow went to see Top of the M
gawdd it was awesome la really nice place

here are some pic of the wedding




me and karen(kawaili)

a artistic shot of karen cool eh



a photo with mr &mrs chua



girls group photo

that bout it i think i would blog on interesting toipcs the next round

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hey bloggie

i had like chinese bridging for the whole week
tomorrow is a test but i have to do well
which i have no assurance
of doing well
anyway i have bridging for like next week la
which is not my ideal way of spending my hols

anyway i am starting work soon
haha will give more details

ok anyway that all

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

you noe when i was younger.My teacher would ask me wat is my favourite fairytale. my answer then was beauty and the beast , Cinderella and sleeping beauty.but now i no longer believe in fairytale

i was watching enchanted . and i realize that life is not as beautiful as a fairytale la. life is not that perfect . so i should not count on it all the time la. life has not many perfect ending in the society that i live in. so i just think that true love may not exist. but that childish thinking of my may change la.this really reminded me of a song call Cinderella by tata young( i think). i guess i really fit that song

i cried yesterday.for the same old reason i have been crying the past few months. does he noe? i doubt it though. anyway there is nothing much that can be done. cause wat is done cannot be easily erase la. i dun want someone to fill that hole. cause i must fill it myself la. no one else can do that la.

break me and shape me ,mold me to who you want me to be

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

tomorrow is like my gu zheng exams and i am having you noe wat? exams jitters! gosh i hate those exams jitters. but no choice la.i hope i will pass la. pls pray for me people pls.

anyway i really needa get over the emotional stuff in life it really needa get rid of it i really hate it la. i need to be left t0 stand on my own feet for now

that all for today

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

yesterday was awesome. we went fullertons to celebrate lionel belated birthday

yes just finish the chocolate buffet . it was a good experience haha. learn loads of stuff.
then late when of go out.spent the night .it was awesome and fun. so i love it haha.

anyway recently have been back to emoing. my problems drain too much of my energy. they make me weak and weary. i have no more tears to shed. no more blood to bleed. if you give me a ticket to a far away place to forget all we shared. i will take it. these 2 years will be my time to heal. i will still watch you but from some distance. stop hurting me with all fun. cause when my heart wants to settle down i will be serious bout it. i wanna rest for this time. my feeling still i will never forget. i will come back stronger 2 years later waiting.

that all for today. trying to stay positive .someone once taught me that on a climb.thanks

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

today just came back from camp. the councilors camp was quite fun. i only went on the second day of the camp. so i miss out many things on the first day. on the second day, i actually did the rope elements only.but there were like only 40 mins per elements. so not everyone did the elements .my group was call ARIBA. the element i did was the rock wall. sanjay(duck) , vicknesah(I think is spell like that) & me did the rope climbing together. we manage to cross the red line so we got our points.i manage to climb the rock wall without breaking a nail. see how good i am. we also did the spider web. i did not expect my group to be able to carry me over . and they did not really complain much so i wanna thank the team.

today the whole group did the high wall, this time it was the whole student councilor body together so there were a few that when up first. i was in the begining. i was like telling everyone that i was really heavy but eventually they carried me up and did not complain. so i am very thankful to everyone. i learn a lot bout faith and trust in your team mates. no matter how afraid you are cause your team mates are always there.later on we gave each other gems so as to recongnise each others qualitys . i gave clarence AKA my dad( he claims that he is my father) one gem fr being my dad. i oso gave my instructors gem too and some other people like the main leaders of ARIBA and my bunk mates and my good friends.so later went back to school debrief and celebrate Heidi birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEIDI!!!!

anyway monday had the MRL department outing. it was fun la but i dun really have the pics. i end up entertaining everyone by singing. just singing lor. laugh and giggle all the way through la. then at night got BBQ. EZB totally forgot bout my order so the food came late. in the end there was too much food so everyone in the end took some food home. overall it was fun and exciting.

my gems

the first letter of my name

that all for today

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

well i went for my dinner after days of working lao ban john treat us to sakura .it was awesome! i came late so when i reach, it was olivia 4th round i think . i was like staring at her and asking her how come she eat so much.eventually she and yi jun ate and ate and ate and they totally forgot about the cake for lao ban niang .opps! haha anyway later on we celebrated lao ban niang birthday .di xin walk in with her present and the cake was sent in . all of us were like cheering so loudly that everyone was look at us. but it was all for the fun of it eventually everyone said something good bout lao ban niang . me too! and we laugh and joke around.we all gave lao ban niang a hug even boss to and he said very touching and romantic stuff in front of everyone. boss is really brave .later on everyone collect their pay and left.overall we had fun la .i try to work for them again=D

after dinner i went to meet him.no longer together but in a friend term of meeting, he was waiting for mr ong so i waited too actually they oso waiting for their other friends.but eventually everyone was too tired to move so eventually they did not go out. i made mr ong sent me home haha so bad rite ya. but we walk to his car which was bout 20 mins . so long half way through the walk he left. so me and mr ong walk to his car. while we are walking to his car we started talking bout my past and the reasons. somehow life is just not wat it seems but no matter wat i will still wait. haha

now watching why why love. it is a super touching show somehow i like the actors from the show.it is a really nice show so you people should watch . i have like a a huge crush on mike he . i like his devious smile that really captures me haha.all fantasy Rachel, just dun dream too much.

that all for today yuppies

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

somehow this pass 2 days have been really horrible
somehow yesterday i had that dream about us together again
it somehow really brings warmth to my soul
it just brings back memories somehow

my second dreams was a school concert
somehow it was scarry
it was like i was waiting for my turn to perform
suddenly the school stage just seems so big that it has 2 stories
then just as a i was about to sing
i did not bring the CD
hoping that someone or the DJ had that song
then when i said MY IMMORTAL
they play different music
so i said i would do an acapella( i think that how you spell it)
so when i started singing i got nervous and forgot the words
i was totally not myself
later on i fainted on the spot
i felt someone carried me
but the moment i regain conscious in my dream
i asked" who carried me here"
and when that sentence was over i woke up

freaky dreams happen to me especially DE JAVU
it quite scary actually
anyway i am here to just to share bout my dreams la

Toodles
Rachel

Labels: dreams

-------------

hi bloggie

i am gonna blog a different style

somehow she no is no longer who she seems
outside everything is just a mask
a mask to pretend that she is ok
a mask to protect herself
somehow she is not ok
she still need him
apparently he think that she is alright
somehow he just focus too much bout himself and not people around him
like family and friends
all he wants is fun and fun and more fun
she herself just want a one way ticket outta life
or a car accident for her to lose all her memory
she does not like the pain
somehow he has gotten over the pain
he does not noe what it is like does he
she just feel like locking herself in her house the whole day
she justs wants a bit of concern
abit of the old times from him that all
but none will happen apparently
she still can't stand on both her feet
she feels like she is falling
but there is no longer anyone to catch her
her world seems black and white now
all she can say is that there is no light in her world of darkness
but still she hopes the love that she holds that will endure storm
will one day come to a good end

hmmm think of how i manage to post the way you want to cause i can no longer express my self like i use to
take care people
anyway now there is this guy trying to date me on facebook'
how should i deal with him
hmmm *evil grin*
i decide later

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

i shall blog bout my week
and where on earth was i first then bout my topic of the day

ok since wednesday i have been to work
and if you ask me where i work at
yes at tiong bahru



yes this are liu li
some kinda rock but it is really pretty
i like this one


butterfly

anyway made some new friends there

this is me and olivia

di xin is hiding from the camera

haha actually there is another girl call yi jun
she is nice too

this is di xin acting emo haha
anyway will work untill 15 of this month
so come find me ok
and buy from me

anyway recently i still can't handle my emotions
i have lost my parents trust in me
will be open bout it
cause i can no longer lie bout everything
so if i go out with anyone pls make sure i reach home by 11

sometimes i worry
wat would my future be without him
just wondering will i turn for the better or the worse
i still hope for the same thing over again
i just feel that i still cannot stand on my own feet
i need someone there to catch me when i fall
i need my heavenly father's help
somehow i really need do anything bout it my world just keeps falling
then mum started talk bout my past to me
i cried
it just felt like being stabbed a hundred times in the heart
yet it just keep bleeding and it won't stop
if he wanted
he could stay forever
or never come in
but wat is done is done
i cannot erase it
so now i am stuck in the middle
but if he leaves now i will get even more hurt
so if you are reading this pls dun go
thanks but that all i can request now
not much though
i just keep dewelling on wat he say
"yada yada yada..."
they somehow haunts my thought like in the middle of doing something
i just remember them

anyway my topic for the day is judgment
i feel that every where is really judgmental
somehow bah
i just feel that the bible say not to judge
but still human life is bout judging people
maybe you dun say it but you think bout it
somehow it is still judging
i can;t run away from that fact
all i can do is to just accept everyone for who they are
like me
i am not perfect
i have "flabby arms" and look like a camel(both clement's claim)
and i try not to be
and to people who judge me
i hope you guys will not label me for how i dress or how i talk or wat i do or how i live my life
the fact is that there are many rachels you have seen
maybe the bitchy and slutty one
or the nerd
or just that horrible girl that bothers you
or maybe the one that talks the whole day
or maybe just the other one
anyway to people who judge me
you might wanna be nice to me
and i will be nicer to you
so for those who stick to their own opinion
go ahead just dun let me be bothered bout you and your words
cause if they dun help me
i ain't bothering bout wat you say bout me either
as long as you are not helping
my bottom line is judging cannot be avioded
you can only brush them or minimise them
anyway THIS IS JUST MY THINKING SO PLS DUN JUDGE ME BY MY THINKING
AND IF YOU ARE ANGRY WITH WAT I HAVE SAID I FIRST SAY I AM SORRY
BUT THIS IS JUST HOW MY BRAIN WORKS SO THIS IS MY POINT OF VIEW
thanks

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

you noe wat
miss audrey chua look so different with make up la
so is so preetty haha
anyway saturday went for her wedding
with my class
when we reach the bus stop, some walked while so cabbed to the place
overall it was cool
got to noe suie better
then talk to her
she is a really nice person,
giving me tips on how to maintain my nails haha
cool rite

anyway then later when out
somehow went to see Top of the M
gawdd it was awesome la really nice place

here are some pic of the wedding




me and karen(kawaili)

a artistic shot of karen cool eh



a photo with mr &mrs chua



girls group photo

that bout it i think i would blog on interesting toipcs the next round

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hey bloggie

i had like chinese bridging for the whole week
tomorrow is a test but i have to do well
which i have no assurance
of doing well
anyway i have bridging for like next week la
which is not my ideal way of spending my hols

anyway i am starting work soon
haha will give more details

ok anyway that all

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

Rachel
I am a little bit of everything, I am never in balance because I desire for the extreme choices all the time.I go along with my mood and do what I want to do. I cry when I am upset, scream when I am pissed, basically my emotions rule over my mood and my reactions, I maybe loud and crazy but I am not good with people and I sometimes hurt them. Even though I maybe blunt and crazy now. One thing is for sure, I am keep changing. -That's me

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