hi bloggie

guess wat
i feel FAT
i just talk to dad
and he was like saying that my objective in running is wrong
he say i should make my objective of having a healthy lifestyle
and not running so i can lose weight
but how am i gonna lose weight la
i desperately needa lose weight and quick
but i can't go through the unconventional methods like lipo
or weight loss centers la
just gotta exercise la
but i dun like dragging myself down to the gym to run
i really hate it
anyway i am not sure if i will lose wait and be skinny one day
i hope somehow i will lose all my fat
i hope la
but hoping is no point la
must do something
so if you guys got idea
let me noe
an pls dun tell me go run on the treadmill cause it ain't working

anyway today was church was good i thought worship was good
as i like found back a feeling that i lost long ago during worship
well today sharing was quite reflective to me
well i just have to say that i cannot be perfect so how am i gonna be a good Christian
i redo my old sins which is bad
but i am not perfect la
so i just feel really bad la
i dunnoe wat to do

anyway the biggest worry is being fat now la
so help me ok
and give me ideas

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

exams are over
hols are starting
and yes my nightmare began
homework and more
for next year o levels
i dunnoe how long can i hold on
i really feel so horrible
life is just a surreal blur

if i got a free ticket to neverland
i would stay there forever
i just wanna run away from reality
cause all the blended emotions
are in a chunk
some how school life , church life,love life and friends
dun really blend well enough
somehow life just not cut out for me
or is it vice versa
watever that is spinning around me

well this song just represents my feeling for this period of time
"My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

[Chorus]


this song somehow means alot to me for some reason or another

anyway i have come to some conclusions in life that would help me go on
i hope
really
hmmm still abit confuse
with this life
gosh
how suck can life get

anyway
NELLY wants me to write something good bout him so here it goes
nelly is a good guy that plan military trainings(i think)
he is a very good "friend" by discouraging me not to go NS
he is oso a very good "friend" by reminding me that i have BIG FEET
he is a very good "friend" that thinks i am a little girl
he is a good sound man too and use to and still now(i hope) still a good drummer

that all i can think of haha
not bad eh

anyway today was the last day of school

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

yesterday slept late
so i woke up at 12 today
beautiful timing eh

was suppose to go out with raina
but she had eye problem
so i went out with
XINYI GIRLFRIEND

haha
had fun
we went to far east and walk la
so mostly saw shoes
i want a pair of white pump
but my shoe size is freaking big
that why justin and nelson calls me
BIG FOOT
-_-'''

then saw this dress i wanna get so most probably another time then get bah
then went into sheer romance
went to see the top swimwear
man the tankis top is like $33
the shorts is $49.90
that like $80

even a bikini is cheaper la
$31 dollars only
not say very ugly la
but i can't wear a bikini
due to obvious reasons
like being
FAT
duh

so not sure leh maybe not gonna buy a swim wear
just stick with my old dull one
haha
i dun really swim that often anyway

then xinyi got some stuff
for my i want a butterfly necklace
but i am very particular bout it la
so i am just gonna get that myself
then i saw this ring
it was quite interesting as it is like a puzzle ring
2 rings together into one
hiax if only i have got that earlier

nvm
i will try to move on hoping that we will still end up together one day
the fate of life runs in me and god's hand
together me and my heavenly father
i will hope it happens
but if it does not life still go on
hmmm maybe a nun that all
haha

or see if my parents wanna get me a arrange marriage la
but must arrange to a rich guy hor
hmmm for now i will fulfill the promise i have towards him
the promise that started the relationship
that is
cause i dun wanna break promises
i am defiantly not that kinda person

anyway now will just wait
cause i am full of wounds and they dun heal
so i will not let myself get into another relationship
the only other relationship i have is with
XINYI GIRLFRIEND
haha she will kill me if she sees this

anyway that all for today
pray for me k
that i will take the time i have now till the promise end
to just let me be someone else
cause i am no longer myself without him

RACHY'S DICTIONARY

METAMORPHOSIS- the process i am in now

buttterfly is my symbol
cause that how i lead my life like
forever metamorphosis

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

just the weird feeling of getting trap
i am just trying to leave my feeling alone
but i can't help it
i just can't

i feel trap in that vortex
i can't get out
i just can't put my past behind me
everyday i just wait
wait for it to past
i see no more meaning to all this

i just hope i will pick myself up again la
just gotta do that

anyway today is my turn staying at home while raina is out
haha
that all

i hope someday we will still stay togethere
for all the time i have to myself
i will use it wisely


toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

guess wat i am doing now
watching the movie catwoman
OH MY
she is super cool
i love her
actually she is my dream since young la
oh my gosh
I LOVE CAT WOMAN

haha anyway today went out with him
well as friends la
so nothing much happen
walk around lor
talk ,yell

anyway that all bout my day
GOSH I LOVE CAT WOMAN

anyway she is my kind of woman

Toodles'
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

there is a tapestry party next saturday\
the theme is monchrome
and i dunnoe wat to wear
help
gosh but kinda happy that they pick my favourite colours
super happy
haha

anyway that wat i wanna blog bout

ok bye

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

this is a nice song check it out
cherry lips- garbage
She gave you everything she had
But she was young and dumb
She'd just turned 21
She didn't care to hang around
So when the shit came down why she was nowhere to be found
This life can turn a good girl bad
She was the sweetest thing that you had ever seen


You're so such a delicate boy
In the hysterical realm
Of an emotional landslide
In physical terms


With your cherry lips and golden curls
You could make grown men gasp when you go walking past
And in your hot pants and high heels
They could not believe that such a body was for real
It seemed like rainbows would appear
Whenever you came near the clouds would disappear
Because you looked just like a girl
Your baby blues would flash and suddenly a spell was cast


You're so such a delicate boy
In the hysterical realm
Of an emotional landslide
In physical terms


You hold a candle in your heart
You shine the light on hidden parts
You make the whole world wanna dance
You bought yourself a second chance


Go baby go go
We're right behind you
Go baby go go
Yeah, we're looking at you
Go baby go go
Oh ,we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Yeah, we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Oh, we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Yeah, we're looking at you
Go baby go baby
Oh, we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Yeah, we're looking at you


You hold a candle in your heart
Go baby go go
You shine the light on hidden parts
Go baby go go
You make the whole world wanna dance
Go baby go go
You bought yourself a second chance
Go baby go baby go
Delicate boy
Go baby go baby go
In the hysterical realm
Go baby go baby go
Of an emotional landslide
Go baby go baby go
In physical terms
Go baby go go
Go


Yeah, we're looking at you
Go baby go go
Oh, we're right behind you


anyway yes just like the word that were bold
yes i am a good girl turn bad
too bad
yes cause i pontang SS class
cause teacher not around and then have to watch movie
waste my time
so just pontang class la
haha
me and karen


yay
anyway exams are over
see the last post in yellow
that wat i say to my exams man

anyway that all la bout my day

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

guess wat people i have a super good news
EXAMS CAN KISS MY ASS GOODBYE
MUHAHA IT OVER
oh yea it is over well
now i have a whole list to do
like partying haha
fixing people present
and exercising
oh ya life here man

anyway i still getta enjoy hol and go overseas
but still needa go school for bridging
anyway that all

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

today had A maths and geography

geography
it was what Mr goh call memory vomit
seriously memory vomit la
i was like writing continuously
just keep writing la
hand ache
well it was better than A maths

A maths
one word
FAIL
it is a confirm one la
i like skip the coordinate geometry
and i could not prove the trigonometry question la

anyway tomorrow is chem
then i am free to do things i love man
oh ya partying to late night is wat i wanna do
nah just joking la
but i wanna do crazy things
haha
ok la somehow happier now adays
i hope this last but the darker Rachel could appear anytime la
quite dangerous lor

anyway that all

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

having mix feeling now
you noe the kinda feeling when your world is falling apart
but you can't say a single thing
cause you noe if you stay true
the other will get hurt
i think it is the sickest kinda feeling

anyway exams papers are over
well not entirely over cause
i have like A maths ,geography and pure chem
i think i failed my physics la
gosh that sucks
and i think i will fail my A maths
i need prayer for A maths

but after exams , i am gonna go wild
haha
shopping all the way
yay me

anyway that all i have
i kinda resign myself to fate
but i will still wait la
cause it is a promise

Toodles
Rachel

-------------

hi bloggie

guess wat
i feel FAT
i just talk to dad
and he was like saying that my objective in running is wrong
he say i should make my objective of having a healthy lifestyle
and not running so i can lose weight
but how am i gonna lose weight la
i desperately needa lose weight and quick
but i can't go through the unconventional methods like lipo
or weight loss centers la
just gotta exercise la
but i dun like dragging myself down to the gym to run
i really hate it
anyway i am not sure if i will lose wait and be skinny one day
i hope somehow i will lose all my fat
i hope la
but hoping is no point la
must do something
so if you guys got idea
let me noe
an pls dun tell me go run on the treadmill cause it ain't working

anyway today was church was good i thought worship was good
as i like found back a feeling that i lost long ago during worship
well today sharing was quite reflective to me
well i just have to say that i cannot be perfect so how am i gonna be a good Christian
i redo my old sins which is bad
but i am not perfect la
so i just feel really bad la
i dunnoe wat to do

anyway the biggest worry is being fat now la
so help me ok
and give me ideas

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

exams are over
hols are starting
and yes my nightmare began
homework and more
for next year o levels
i dunnoe how long can i hold on
i really feel so horrible
life is just a surreal blur

if i got a free ticket to neverland
i would stay there forever
i just wanna run away from reality
cause all the blended emotions
are in a chunk
some how school life , church life,love life and friends
dun really blend well enough
somehow life just not cut out for me
or is it vice versa
watever that is spinning around me

well this song just represents my feeling for this period of time
"My Immortal"

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

[Chorus]


this song somehow means alot to me for some reason or another

anyway i have come to some conclusions in life that would help me go on
i hope
really
hmmm still abit confuse
with this life
gosh
how suck can life get

anyway
NELLY wants me to write something good bout him so here it goes
nelly is a good guy that plan military trainings(i think)
he is a very good "friend" by discouraging me not to go NS
he is oso a very good "friend" by reminding me that i have BIG FEET
he is a very good "friend" that thinks i am a little girl
he is a good sound man too and use to and still now(i hope) still a good drummer

that all i can think of haha
not bad eh

anyway today was the last day of school

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

yesterday slept late
so i woke up at 12 today
beautiful timing eh

was suppose to go out with raina
but she had eye problem
so i went out with
XINYI GIRLFRIEND

haha
had fun
we went to far east and walk la
so mostly saw shoes
i want a pair of white pump
but my shoe size is freaking big
that why justin and nelson calls me
BIG FOOT
-_-'''

then saw this dress i wanna get so most probably another time then get bah
then went into sheer romance
went to see the top swimwear
man the tankis top is like $33
the shorts is $49.90
that like $80

even a bikini is cheaper la
$31 dollars only
not say very ugly la
but i can't wear a bikini
due to obvious reasons
like being
FAT
duh

so not sure leh maybe not gonna buy a swim wear
just stick with my old dull one
haha
i dun really swim that often anyway

then xinyi got some stuff
for my i want a butterfly necklace
but i am very particular bout it la
so i am just gonna get that myself
then i saw this ring
it was quite interesting as it is like a puzzle ring
2 rings together into one
hiax if only i have got that earlier

nvm
i will try to move on hoping that we will still end up together one day
the fate of life runs in me and god's hand
together me and my heavenly father
i will hope it happens
but if it does not life still go on
hmmm maybe a nun that all
haha

or see if my parents wanna get me a arrange marriage la
but must arrange to a rich guy hor
hmmm for now i will fulfill the promise i have towards him
the promise that started the relationship
that is
cause i dun wanna break promises
i am defiantly not that kinda person

anyway now will just wait
cause i am full of wounds and they dun heal
so i will not let myself get into another relationship
the only other relationship i have is with
XINYI GIRLFRIEND
haha she will kill me if she sees this

anyway that all for today
pray for me k
that i will take the time i have now till the promise end
to just let me be someone else
cause i am no longer myself without him

RACHY'S DICTIONARY

METAMORPHOSIS- the process i am in now

buttterfly is my symbol
cause that how i lead my life like
forever metamorphosis

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

just the weird feeling of getting trap
i am just trying to leave my feeling alone
but i can't help it
i just can't

i feel trap in that vortex
i can't get out
i just can't put my past behind me
everyday i just wait
wait for it to past
i see no more meaning to all this

i just hope i will pick myself up again la
just gotta do that

anyway today is my turn staying at home while raina is out
haha
that all

i hope someday we will still stay togethere
for all the time i have to myself
i will use it wisely


toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

guess wat i am doing now
watching the movie catwoman
OH MY
she is super cool
i love her
actually she is my dream since young la
oh my gosh
I LOVE CAT WOMAN

haha anyway today went out with him
well as friends la
so nothing much happen
walk around lor
talk ,yell

anyway that all bout my day
GOSH I LOVE CAT WOMAN

anyway she is my kind of woman

Toodles'
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

there is a tapestry party next saturday\
the theme is monchrome
and i dunnoe wat to wear
help
gosh but kinda happy that they pick my favourite colours
super happy
haha

anyway that wat i wanna blog bout

ok bye

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

this is a nice song check it out
cherry lips- garbage
She gave you everything she had
But she was young and dumb
She'd just turned 21
She didn't care to hang around
So when the shit came down why she was nowhere to be found
This life can turn a good girl bad
She was the sweetest thing that you had ever seen


You're so such a delicate boy
In the hysterical realm
Of an emotional landslide
In physical terms


With your cherry lips and golden curls
You could make grown men gasp when you go walking past
And in your hot pants and high heels
They could not believe that such a body was for real
It seemed like rainbows would appear
Whenever you came near the clouds would disappear
Because you looked just like a girl
Your baby blues would flash and suddenly a spell was cast


You're so such a delicate boy
In the hysterical realm
Of an emotional landslide
In physical terms


You hold a candle in your heart
You shine the light on hidden parts
You make the whole world wanna dance
You bought yourself a second chance


Go baby go go
We're right behind you
Go baby go go
Yeah, we're looking at you
Go baby go go
Oh ,we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Yeah, we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Oh, we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Yeah, we're looking at you
Go baby go baby
Oh, we're right behind you
Go baby go baby
Yeah, we're looking at you


You hold a candle in your heart
Go baby go go
You shine the light on hidden parts
Go baby go go
You make the whole world wanna dance
Go baby go go
You bought yourself a second chance
Go baby go baby go
Delicate boy
Go baby go baby go
In the hysterical realm
Go baby go baby go
Of an emotional landslide
Go baby go baby go
In physical terms
Go baby go go
Go


Yeah, we're looking at you
Go baby go go
Oh, we're right behind you


anyway yes just like the word that were bold
yes i am a good girl turn bad
too bad
yes cause i pontang SS class
cause teacher not around and then have to watch movie
waste my time
so just pontang class la
haha
me and karen


yay
anyway exams are over
see the last post in yellow
that wat i say to my exams man

anyway that all la bout my day

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

guess wat people i have a super good news
EXAMS CAN KISS MY ASS GOODBYE
MUHAHA IT OVER
oh yea it is over well
now i have a whole list to do
like partying haha
fixing people present
and exercising
oh ya life here man

anyway i still getta enjoy hol and go overseas
but still needa go school for bridging
anyway that all

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

today had A maths and geography

geography
it was what Mr goh call memory vomit
seriously memory vomit la
i was like writing continuously
just keep writing la
hand ache
well it was better than A maths

A maths
one word
FAIL
it is a confirm one la
i like skip the coordinate geometry
and i could not prove the trigonometry question la

anyway tomorrow is chem
then i am free to do things i love man
oh ya partying to late night is wat i wanna do
nah just joking la
but i wanna do crazy things
haha
ok la somehow happier now adays
i hope this last but the darker Rachel could appear anytime la
quite dangerous lor

anyway that all

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

hi bloggie

having mix feeling now
you noe the kinda feeling when your world is falling apart
but you can't say a single thing
cause you noe if you stay true
the other will get hurt
i think it is the sickest kinda feeling

anyway exams papers are over
well not entirely over cause
i have like A maths ,geography and pure chem
i think i failed my physics la
gosh that sucks
and i think i will fail my A maths
i need prayer for A maths

but after exams , i am gonna go wild
haha
shopping all the way
yay me

anyway that all i have
i kinda resign myself to fate
but i will still wait la
cause it is a promise

Toodles
Rachel
-------------

Rachel
I am a little bit of everything, I am never in balance because I desire for the extreme choices all the time.I go along with my mood and do what I want to do. I cry when I am upset, scream when I am pissed, basically my emotions rule over my mood and my reactions, I maybe loud and crazy but I am not good with people and I sometimes hurt them. Even though I maybe blunt and crazy now. One thing is for sure, I am keep changing. -That's me

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