Wednesday, July 08, 2009 // 9:32 PM
Hi
I think all my life, my fats have bothered me, they are like a constant nightmare I cannot get rid off, sometimes I wish I could wake up and see myself being normal again. I have always read bout ppl who would get eating disorders and I told myself that that would never happen to me. I love food too much to give it up. Even though I am excercising now, I just put on more weight than lose it. Times like this mak Me feel like being aneroxic. I mean. If it makes me look better why. Yet it is tough, maybe one day I will fall down that path but not today,bacause of my looks and size, I have really given up a lot of things mentally, I guess in this superficial world,you won't anything with a beautiful heart, cause peoplelook at you from your outside.This has bothered me all my life, and if given a chance i will get rid of it once and for all, that is why I would go for plastic surgey if given a chance to. I just give up.
TOodles
Rachel
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Thursday, July 02, 2009 // 11:46 PM
Hey,
Recently have been quite coop up, things are happening and i feel like a freaking no lifer, the best part are all the parties tempting me all this while. First butterfactory , now St james powerstation. The best part, My wild side is coming out very soon, Everytime i party once during my hols, it is a night that i really enjoy all that and go crazy with the music that bring my feet along. I mean now i wanna do this stuff, i have people to stop me all over and not go with me.
Even though i hold a goody goody 2 shoes rept, i still have my wild side, to do everything crazy for once . Not my best rept, but i love the thrills and the fun of it, living on the high life. I will still come back down . Just one night all i am asking. now a simply stay out is no longer as good as it was. somehow people are just disappearing all over. I am tired and seriously i need a life.
Tomorrow last paper get over and done with.
Physics can kiss my ass goodbye
TOodles
Rachel
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